According to late Dr. Martin Luther King Jr, “the ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy”.
In this Exclusive chat with TrueNews.ng, Halima Oyelade, a certified John Maxwell team speaker, coach and convener of the iconic TimeOutWithHalima (A strategic programme/ interactive session about leadership, personal development, business and professional growth) bares it all on why individuals must find their dream, nurture and pursue it and above all end up a success.
She also talks about her forthcoming programme themed “Nolimits”, Enjoy!
One of your goals is for individuals to take ownership of their dreams, what is the major inspiration behind TimeOut With Halima?
Basically the major inspiration is that I want to see people to be their best. I discovered that people around the world especially in Nigeria limit themselves by virtue of their experiences in life and the society which we live in which tells people that if you are not connected to someone high up there you can’t get a job or become successful. I observe in terms of empowerment, many people teach business skills and give out money, but you find out that a huge percentage of those people still come back after a while complaining that business is bad. So I started asking myself what was the problem. Later I discovered that their mindset is the problem, they feel inadequate because they feel they don’t have the right education or contact. These issues make them limit themselves.
Another inspiration is that I am very passionate about personal development, because I believe we are the best product we can sell. It’s about who you are and not what you can get and this attracts the right kind of people to you. My interactive sessions with people provide them a platform for them to see possibilities rather than limitations. Through my sessions, I coach people to believe that impossibilities don’t exist except the one they want to see. One of the greatest resources Nigeria has is the human resource, but unfortunately how to harness these potentials is the challenge. So with the right mindset and principles, no feat is too big to attain.
What is the focus of the anniversary edition theme No Limits?
No limits as the theme of this anniversary speaks to me and also to my guests. In life you have to learn not to focus on obstacles for you to exceed limitations. One of the things that has held people back is limiting beliefs, people love blaming others for their inadequacies: I don’t have the right education, no money, my stepmother is very wicked and the likes. The truth is that there are things that happen in life that we can’t control. For instance, one of my panelists Dr. Cally Cussons is a polio survivor, but today he is a Phd holder. There is also Mary Musa who had her eyes taken out at a young age by one of her relations. You can imagine how odd that will be? Today she is a lawyer and she is doing well. Inspirational Pastor Tunde Laniyi is also one of the panelists. In this world we find ourselves, we should try not to have a ‘pity party’ all the days of our lives.
Essentially, the focus is for people to get rid of limitations, things that would have limited them should become the push for them. Things happen to us in life, but we must decide how we respond to it. You can make a stumbling block a stepping stone. Tiger Woods bounce back is a vivid example, don’t ever give up in life. Blaming the government is not the issue, yes there are issues with the government, but you have to get going with your own life.
Based on your previous editions what had been the responses, feedback and support so far?
We have had wonderful feedback back from people who have been inspired by our sessions and have been propelled to take action to become meaningful to society. Furthermore, there have been encouragement that that we should continue and enlarge our sessions. Currently, we are thinking of a virtual timeout on YouTube or Facebook live.
Interestingly, in terms of support the Abuja Enterprise Agency has been supporting us with the venue after the second edition, so the cost of venue is out.
Most of the support and sponsorship had been overwhelming. For instance, Doxa Digital Nigeria Limited has been helping us with the stage setup, backdrop, LED screen and others. For me, I think that is the way to go in life-collaborations. This shows that they believe in what we are doing. ‘1’ is too small in number to be great or significant. To be significant in life you need people, I am looking into the future with more excitement.
As a certified coach, how do you think youths can discover purpose, pursue their visions and maximize their potentials?
There is this training I do “Live Your Dream”’ under TimeOut With Halima. The first thing for anyone to live or fulfill their dream is to find that ‘dream’. They need to know what they are wired for. Personally for me, I observed that one of the major hindrances to people discovering purpose, pursuing their dreams is because our parents and the society sometimes tell us what to do. When I was growing they were saying I will become a doctor and I hated hospitals. Even when I was in secondary school I was not doing well in the sciences yet people insisted I become a doctor, so one day I took my locker from the science to the Art class, I didn’t tell anybody or teacher I just moved. You won’t believe it, though I joined Art Class in the third term I still came off with flying colors.
According to John Maxwell in one of his books, “put your dream to the test” you need to ask yourself certain questions, reflecting and thinking if this ‘dream’ is really mine? How do I feel about it, if money was not an issue? After these self probing questions, you need to take ownership. There is a passion that comes with your dream, you wake up every morning and you think about it, it inspires you and make you happy.
There was a certain statistics in the United States, that 80 percent of persons in the US where doing jobs they don’t like. It happened to me, after the university I went to work in the banking industry because that was where the money was, but after a few years I left. Some people even thought I was sacked! We must learn to be original not copycats. In Nigeria somebody opens a new business and everybody wants to jump into that business. You need to gain clarity. What am I really here for? What is my purpose? Finding your dream for me is the foundation. When you miss it, you will be living another person’s life and you will not be happy.
Take a fish out of water and it struggles, but drop it inside water and it begins to thrive. For every person there is something others will struggle to do, but for you it comes natural. Your dream should empower you, but when it is not yours, it takes strength out of you. To achieve any significant success you must be willing to go out of your comfort zone, but never leave your strength zone. There is a difference between your strength zone and your comfort zone. When you go out of your strength zone, you will struggle, and life becomes difficult. Whereas going out of your comfort zone implies you are doing the right thing but you still need to put in more efforts.
Can you tell us the importance of being an independent John Maxwell Certified Team Speaker?
One of the benefits of being a John Maxwell Certified Team Speaker is that you will be empowered to be a success via a continuous and invaluable learning process from experienced faculty members in the team. For me I was attracted to John Maxwell due to his level of integrity as a leader and the success he has achieved as a global speaker.
Again, he has some many accolades to his name: “The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership” which is a bestseller! He is also an acclaimed leadership guru like six times. So for anybody who cherish excellence in leadership and continuous personal development, the John Maxwell certified team is a sure bet.
You are also into leadership assessment, what is the biggest challenge to leadership in Nigeria?
For me I believe, the biggest challenge is self leadership because you can’t lead others well if you have not led yourself. One of the abilities a leader should have is to lead by example. Today we have leaders who don’t believe in what they are saying, they don’t even believe in the system or themselves!
Secondly, most people don’t just understand the concept of leadership; they are always looking for people to blame and refusing to accept responsibility. Leadership is about service. If as a leader nobody is following you, you are definitely leading yourself. A good leader is he/she who raises other leaders. What we have in Nigeria is when some privileged few want to create a gap in the society for them to continue to dominate and others wallow in penury. That is positional leadership, which to me is the lowest form of leadership. Leadership according to me is about influence not position.
Based on your observation, is entrepreneurship the way out of unemployment woes in Nigeria?
Yes to a large extent, the jobs are not going to go round. Let’s tell ourselves the truth. We don’t seem to have enough jobs. I would blame the educational system, which don’t really prepare us to do anything to become entrepreneurs. Entrepreneurship I think is the way out to go for many people, but you have to be bold, you have to be courageous and that is where self leadership comes to play. You have to be disciplined.
I also believe is not everybody that is cut out to be an entrepreneur, some people want to work in the bank, in government, at the United Nations and rise to the peak of their careers. Again, it all boils down finding your dream. Everywhere you go excel and be competent, don’t get lost in the crowd. Today, we have entrepreneurs that are struggling whereas we have people who work for government travelling everyday for vacation. So, whatever place you find yourself plan to be at the top because there is always room at the top.
Mental Health issues such as depression and people committing suicide is on the rise in Nigeria, what do you think is responsible for this?
I think generally things have been difficult for people in recent times. Challenges are real, when I am talking I am not downplaying the fact that people are not going through issues, I have seen instances where people have struggled and done their best and things seem not to work out, and they basically slip into depression.
Simultaneously, that is why coaching is on the rise, to buttress this Bill Gates says everybody needs a coach. Again, things might be bad but we shouldn’t focus on it, when you focus on it, you give energy and strength to the negative. It all begins with the mind. The greatest gifts, God gave man is the mind and the brain. People need to reset the way they think and utter positive affirmations about themselves. Say to yourself: I am beautiful, great, intentional, kind, loving, rich, keep saying it, then you internalize it! Sometimes I imagine how rich people feel, what you can create with your mind can become your physical reality. The right mindset attracts the right kind of people and you don’t need money to develop your mind, of course you need somebody to help you develop your mind.
Generally, I think for people to overcome such mental issues people should listen to positive stories. Some youths will say they don’t have money, but if you check the expensive phones they use, you that have been working for decades cannot even afford it. So we need to get our priorities right. Similarly, young people are not patient enough to grow into what they aspire to be. This leads them to making the wrong choices. However, no matter the challenge life throws at us we all should never underestimate the power of consistency hoping that one day we all will get there!
You believe your vibe attracts your tribe as a result what is your definition of success?
Success for me should reflect in every aspect of your life; in your career, business, marriage and other areas. Success is getting to a point where you are fulfilled and comfortable. You don’t have to be a Bill Gates to be successful, but you should have enough for yourself and others, you are happy and content. There are a lot of people that are rich, but when you take a close look at them you find out they have issues with their children or their health. Success in all aspect of your life is possible, but you need to invest in every aspect of your life; this is true because some people build empires at the detriment of their health.
It’s all about seeking harmony or balance in every aspect of your life. In addition, money is a significant part of success, for you to enjoy life you need money to cool off, go for vacations and the likes. All in all, success is good, it’s about living that life you have always imagined, your best life!
Tmeout with Halima 1st Anniversary Edition
Date :18th May 2019
Venue:IBI centre Discovery Mall Wuse 2 (Same street as AP plaza)
Theme: No Limits!!!
To register to attend-
Click here and fill the simple form or text your name and email to 08160431260
There will be a Red Carpet, spoken Word and a special song to inspire you to limitless possibilities, Unveiling of my new programme and so much more.
Dress code: Something nice and formal